Old Knifey: My friend is moving tomorrow. It's my third friend to move this week.
Me: Psh. I've had 25 friends move in the 10 years that I've lived here.
Bob the hipster bystander: That's the quote of the night!
Random girl: I want to move right now. I've been here a week.
Bob the hipster bystander: That's the quote of the night.
Random girl: Seriously. I'm trapped here. I was traveling with my boyfriend and we were at the hospital. He went out for a cigarette, and didn't come back. He just disappeared. And we don't have cell phones ...
Me: Wait. What?
Random girl: Yeah. So I was sleeping on the streets. One night I checked myself into detox. I blew .10, and they were like 'Why are you here?' And I said: I just need some place to stay.
Bob the hipster bystander: I had a friend once who checked himself into Miller Dwan's Psychiatric Center. He told them that he really just wanted to jump into the lake. That's a way to get good drugs.
Me: So what happened to your boyfriend?
dI don't know. But yesterday two people saw him and said he's looking for me. So I know he's still here. I figured he'd left. I was going to go to Indiana for awhile.
Me: So ... how are you traveling?
Random girl: Walking. Rides. ...
Me: So who is this boyfriend?
Random girl: His name is (something vaguely biblical-meets-science fiction). He looks like Aragorn from "The Lord of The Rings." ... But shorter.
Me: So, how are you going to find him?
Random girl: Well, I left the address of the house I'm staying in at the bar in case they see him.
Me: This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.
Bob the hipster bystander: You know what? We're all in the exact same boat. All of us.
Me: Um .. actually, my boyfriend is in the bar.
Random girl: If my boyfriend was in the bar, I wouldn't let him out of my sight.