Pop Culture Curiosity Chapter 3: The One Where I Get Addicted to Energy Drinks!
I've made no secret of the fact that I enjoy the neon green flush of urine that chemically occurs when I drink Sugar Free Rock Star. It's in the beeturia genre of fascinating biology. But it's more than a glowing toilet bowl that keeps me cruising back to the cooler at my local C-store.
I genuinely like the sweet and tinny taste. And I genuinely love the spazz-mitude inspired by this PBR tall boy-sized energy drink. It's not so much the stomach gnaw or the acute awareness that your hair is growing, like with coffee -- which I also love. It's more of an accelerated heart rate and involuntarily doing the Roger Rabbit. That feeling that IF I DON'T HEAR A SONG BY KATRINA AND THE WAVES RIGHT NOW MY ORGANS WILL IMPLODE!
And that's a wonderful feeling.
Chuck and I recently had a taste test: Sugar Free Rock Star versus Lo-Carb Monster. He mixed up the samples, then presented me with both options. I knew my Sugar Free Rock Star the way a mother knows her baby -- even though all babies look exactly alike. Monster was too thick and syrup-y. More like nectar from flowers watered with the urine of a thousand 12-year-olds with ADHD. I prefer the higher carbonation factor of Sugar Free Rock Star, and it's much more subtle sweetness. Perchance, nectar from flowers watered with the urine of just 500 12-year-olds with ADHD.
Chuck, by the way, chose the Monster in his blind taste test.
So there it is. People like energy drinks. I tried enough energy drinks to have a favorite energy drink. And I've tried my favorite energy often enough to actually trick myself into thinking "Hm. 3 p.m. Time for my Sugar Free Rock Star. Do-do-do."