There is a bit of irony in all of this. I'm on the low-to-moderate level of freaked out, yet I had set out to write about all the ways the tried and true scary things are failing me so far this Halloween season. My second-favorite season of all.
Watched "Nightmare on Elm Street," read Stephen King's "Salem's Lot." Watched "Halloween H20," and attempted "Suspiria," one of those 1970s cult classics, super dramatic with this psychedelic soundtrack that felt like rug burn on my ear drum. Ditched that one at halftime.
We primed TiVo with a bunch of fodder from the SyFy channel -- which is playing Halloween fare all month. Unfortunately, they are made-for-TV movies that are like off-brands of something else. That didn't stop us from watching "Mansquito." Frankly, the engorged proboscis is underused in modern film.
But there was also "Dread," which is "Saw"-like in its "ever wonder what a hatchet looks like hanging out of someone's head?" way. Home invasion-turns-axe-gash-turns-sociopath-survivor.
There is also some made-for MTV fare in the queue. I'm guessing this includes bouncy-haired coeds in white tank tops caught in rain storms while some super awesome songs play in the background.
TMC is paying homage to Stephen King tonight. I caught a bit of "Pet Semetary," and now enough of "Cujo" to never look at facial froth the same again. If I play my cards right, I can catch "Graveyard Shift" before the sun comes up.
"I can't figure out what scares you," Chuck said tonight.
I thought for a second. Thought some more.
"Neck hair?" I responded.
I am failing to find the perfect controlled freaky-fest. I've bitten off 50 pages of the Peter Straub novel "Ghost Story." We'll see if it lives up to the hype, or if the hype was created by pussies.
Anyone have a scary book/movie/song/family portrait/neck beard that I need to check out?