Lies I told him as he became increasingly pushy:
1. That I do not have a car. I ride the bus everywhere. I even did a fist raise when he said "Go Green!"
2. That I'm married.
3. That I'm not wearing a ring because we bought a house instead.
4. That I do not read magazines because we subscribe to a paper-free lifestyle.
5. That I was born and raised in Duluth.
Ways in which this conversation became creepy:
1. He told me he wasn't just using this as a way to "pick up girls wearing pajama pants."
2. He told me he was wearing a $300 outfit, and I told him mine was about $25, then I peeked inside my hoodie to see what shirt I was wearing and said "Oh. Wait." To which he replied "Victoria Secret?"
3. When he saw I wasn't going to buy anything, he told me I looked "radiant today, by the way."
Something I learned about myself in the process:
1. Aggressive young Camp Miller candy bar pushers, I'll buy from.
2. Weird shivering boyz of indiscernible age who don't seem to be from Duluth, and throw empty complements at a woman dressed in a hoodie that looks like a much-loved stuff toy from childhood, just say no. And fast.
3. I'm going to become a "Who knocked on the front door today" blogger instead of a cat blogger or house blogger or cheese whiz blogger.