Greatest hits from the disgusting files ...

This is not at all an accurate representation of how I spent my past week. But here it is anyway:

FOODS

Swiss Cheese Pie: Chuck has all these crazy old school cookbooks of great hilarity that I've gotten a better look at since we moved. This recipe comes from "Vegetarian Gourmet Cookery," from 1975. I like to think this was written at a time when vegetarian cooking wasn't so much about health as it was about finding ways to eliminate the animal from one's diet. So of course this recipe book is packed with all sorts of whack meals teaming with 101 forms of fat: butter, cheese, cream ... Guaranteeing that everything is going to taste super awesome. Including this one, which has a pie crust comprised of 36 Zestas and butter, and a filling made of butter, onions, eggs, Swiss cheese, sour cream. It's amazing. The poor cable guy was here as it was cooking, and he told me it smelled like his mom's homemade potato soup (???), but he was in a bit of a tizzy over it. I imagine he went home and grudgingly scarfed down a Totino's Pizza.

Chili Cheese Sausage Dip: So this is the most disgusting kind of awesome ever. We had some people over on Saturday night and I had promised snacks. So I threw two pounds of Velveeta into a crock pot with 2 pounds of Italian sausage and some tomatoes and Pace Picante sauce and waited for the magic to happen. And magic did happen, my friends. It was one of those things where you can't think about what you are eating, or your organs might just seize up.

Trust me. You don't want to see a photo of this one. 

BOOKS
A Dead Hand: A Crime in Calcutta by Paul Theroux: One of the best things about reading "A Dead Hand," is diving face-first into sixty-something writer Paul Theroux's scenes of epic tantric massages, then flipping to the author's bio on the dust jacket and giggling about how that man wrote these scenes. Full review will be here.


MOVIES
Whip It I would have rather seen this film about roller derby from the gritty perspective of Juliette Lewis's character.And also: Just once I would like to see Ellen Page admit that her acting influence is Darlene from "Roseanne."