Smoke 'em if you got 'em [eggplant] ...

Well hello friends, family and creepers,

I seem to have watched plenty o'movies last week, including one that found me terrified to go to sleep until the sun came up. I say that, but really I used that as a good excuse to read until 6 a.m. Sunday morning, yet garner sympathy for my bad behavior.

Did I tell you about the time today that I put together a shoe shelf? Two of them?

In other news, my 34th birthday is a week from Monday. I can't believe I haven't mentioned it sooner. This is very uncharacteristic of me. Not the sort of thing I did as a 32 year old.

In other "Stuff I did this past week" news:

THE FOOD

Eggplant Steak with Mediterranean Salad: This is simply marinated eggplant that is roasted for like two minutes per side, then topped with a mix of chickpeas, feta, roasted red pepper, olives and a bit of the leftover marinade. The topping stands alone; The eggplant does not. "You definitely need to have the salad," Chuck said. "Otherwise, you're like 'OH. I'M EATING EGGPLANT!'"

Fun fact: Did you know eggplant has nicotene in it? Eating 20 lbs. worth is equivalent to smoking one cigarette, so don't get any funny ideas. I doubt you can fit 20 in your purse.

READER SUBMITTED RECIPE

Cork1's Cheesy Polenta with Bacon: This one comes from one of those high-metabolism readers in Michigan, who seemingly mad-scientist cooks like my dad: Chop up a bunch of good-tasting things, throw it in a pan, serve it with an egg.

Cork1's recipe includes frying up some bacon [I used prosciutto because it's snobbier] with some onions [He uses green onions, I was plumb out but had a mesh net filled with onion-onions]. When these are respectively fried and softened, add a half cup of polenta and two cups of water [I used a cup and a half of water] and stir that sucker until it congeals. Then Cork1 adds the green onion tips and American cheese. [I used Gouda, which is so good-ah.] When the cheese has melted, let it cool. In the meantime, poach an egg to eat with it.

I'd never poached an egg before, but found it to be fascinating. I'll do it again in the very near future.

This was, of course, delish. And easy. And my only regret is that I didn't have a hangover that could be cured by this magic mix. Maybe next time.

Thanks, Cork1.

MOVIES
Three Colors Trilogy (Blue / White / Red): We watched the first of the trilogy: Bleu. There is very little dialog in this French film, which means you can probably even watch it without subtitles and little will be lost. Those long pensive shots of the sun setting over a tea cup know are the same in any language. In this one, a woman's husband, a famous composer, and her daughter die in a car accident. She throws away everything and moves into an apartment where she knows no one. "What do you do?" The building manager asks her. "Nothing," she says. "I mean for work," he prods. "Nothing," she says.

Cursed (Unrated Version): Think Scream with werewolves. This Joshua Jackson vehicle is the best werewolf movie I've seen yet. Probably because it was also like Dawson's Creek gone wild.

Another Woman : This is one of those serious Woody Allen films about a writer who's writing apartment is next to a psychiatrist's office. She can hear his patients through the air vents, including a suicidal Mia Farrow. I had a hard time following this, which was set much like a play. I got distracted by cell phone games.

The Haunting in Connecticut: I'm not sure why I decided to start watching this at 3 a.m. when Chuck was at work, but it will not be an error I repeat. The only way to get it out of my brain was to turn on every light in the house and read "Julie & Julia" so that any sort of ghoulish visions in my head had to do with lobsters and not the severed eyelids of the dead.

THE BOOK
Inherent Viceby Thomas Pynchon: I'm a sucker for chatter and August has been lousy with chatter about Thomas Pynchon's "Inherent Vice." New York Magazine found it too busy; The Washington Post calls it a "page turner" and a "comfort book," Entertainment Weekly got distracted by the author's name in neon and gave it an A, but probably didn't read it.

Full review will be here.