In other news, this is how I spent the past week of my life -- henceforth to be known as "The week I tried to become addicted to energy drinks, but found that while they make me spazzy, then taste like perfume."
MIXING UP THE FOODSTUFFS
Baked Polenta with Swiss Chard and Cheese: Hello, labor-intensive, long-baking-but-worth-it. I'd only tried polenta fried with things on top of it. This was a nice little quiche kind of thing. We had to eat it before it had time to cool, thus the pancakey shape. Me+Chard=Love. And that corny flavor. Yum.
It involves cooking the chard with red pepper flakes, garlic and onion, then making polenta. Then whisking together egg and ricotta. Then mixing egg and ricotta with the polenta. Lay down layers of polenta mix, chard, mozarella cheese. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Salmon and Eggplant Curry: Separating salmon from it's skin is easily the most disgusting thing I've ever done. So, it doesn't really matter that this was really tasty and fun to eat. Because I'm not sure I can ever erase from my brain the sensation of being knuckle deep in this semi-solid, gelatinous mess of fish. I have long nails, people. And that smell lingers well beyond three pretty solid hand washings.
It's like this: you think you can just rip the skin off like it's the back of a stamp. Unfortunately, much like your skin or my skin, it's attached to the meat. It probably would have gone better if I had a super-sharp knife. But that is out of the question. I'm one of those people who would accidentally slice her Achilles tendon, trying to mince garlic. "How did that happen?" "Slipped on a banana peel with a $150 chef's knife in my hand."
It got to the point where I didn't even care how much meat I finally pulled away from that shimmering silver layer. I was all "Fine. Keep that. I don't friggin care. I just want to be able to get into my car without every cat in the neighborhood clamoring for a whiff of my digits."
Like I said: delicious. The snow peas, nice. Surprising bites of spice. If you want to invite me over and make this, I'll RSVP affirmative. But it won't see the light of day in this kitchen.
Call me a pussy, BUT THIS IS WHY I DON'T COOK MEAT! EVEN IF THAT MEAT SWIMS!
Black Bean and Hominy Stew: This stew begs the question: Why don't we eat more hominy? This was so good. Soo soo good. Black beans, onions, hominy, garlic and a pepper, with some nickel sized circles of Italian sausage. The hominy really makes it. I love that mushy on your teeth feel. Make this, people.
Ginger Snaps: Oh my god this movie is so stupid. "The premise is okay," I told Chuck, "If they could just make the main characters shut up." This is the story of Ginger and Bridget, misfit sisters attached at the slit wrist. Something whack happens the night Ginger gets her period -- three years late, according to her mom. Suspension of disbelief breaks here: A 15 year old girl with boobs and hips like that got her period when she was 11. Maybe 10. She also gets bit by a wolf. Those trying times of trying to learn to shave now include trying to learn to tape her wolf tale under her gym shorts. Death ensues.
The Howling : A TV news anchor develops a relationship with a mass murderer and scores an exclusive interview with him in a coin-operated booth of an adult bookstore. It doesn't unfold a planned, she's so distraught she can hardly get her hair to do that late 70s Faucette flip, and gets sent to a retreat in the woods. This is like being invited to play the Oscar Meyer at a wienie roast. This movie is so hokey.
Solicitations: Chuck is looking for good werewolf movies. Please advise.
Jessica Z. by Shawn Klomparens: I started reading "Jessica Z" by Shawn Klomparens while getting gas. I was three pages in when the pump clicked to indicate a full tank, and I jumped like a foot. It was like I'd gone into some sort of Klomparens koma or something. "This is a good sign," I thought. "I'm not going to be able to put this book down."
That much is true. I read Klomparens' first novel over the course of a single rainy Saturday.
Read full review will be here. Spoiler alert: This book is all show, no go.