Saturday, December 13, 2008

snow business ...

it took a few years to figure out that in the event of a pending snowstorm, that most importantly, your duluthian must stop at last chance liquor. a good rule of thumb is: at least one bottle of wine per predicted foot of snow.

when i got home, chuck was playing mario galaxy and said this sentence me:
"after getting instructions from a talking penguin, i'm riding on a fish's back down a river in the sky."

we made some chump from pizza luce bring dinner to the front door: shrimp pesto pizza, artichoke dip and tiramisu. i cracked a bottle at 12:30 a.m., then proceeded to stay up until 6 a.m., listening to music and watching classic lita ford/ozzy osborne on mtv.com. then i slept until 3:30 p.m. and woke to a few cruel realities:

1. despite carefully plotting my wine purchases to minimize my chances of waking with a headache, my brain won and there it was, an 11 pound ball of compost banging against my skull.

2. my assault on the weather had been in vain. the accumulation of snow was laughable.

i plodded around the apartment. canceled plans out in the world that called for pants and clean hair. watched four episodes of "it's always sunny in philadelphia." we passed a giant chocolate covered rice crispie bar back and forth, taking bites and making chocolate skid marks on our front teeth.

"who are we?" chuck asked.
"people who sit in bed watching tv and eating rice krispie bars," i said.
"in other words, awesome?" he asked.
i nodded.

then i waged a battled with narcolepsy for an hour and woke craving potato chips.

by now, chuck had reached the level where he turns into a bee in mario galaxy.

i made a grocery wish list, compiling every craving that could hit in the next two days:

salty potato chips
2, no 4 cokes
onion
soft shell tortillas
cheese
kitty litter
cookies!
veggie nuggets

at the grocery store, i added corn dogs to the mix. as these items rolled down the conveyor belt, i realized that i was the very person whose items would gross me out if i was standing behind myself in line.

"corn dogs, potato chips, coke and cookies. now we're eating like a daycare center!" chuck said.

by the end of this weekend, i'll have been wearing a hooded lourdes sweatshirt and green sweatpants for 64 hours.

4 comments:

Whiskeymarie said...

Sounds like a pretty darn perfect weekend to me. Had I not had grandiose plans to go to Target (which I have since abandoned), I would be in sweatpants and a hoodie myself.

When we got a HUGE snowstorm at Halloween in '91 in Duluth, I was stuck in Esko at my Dad's house while my friends in Duluth bundled up and took a sled to Last chance. They stocked up on Windsor and wine coolers and spent the next few days watching cable and drunkenly eating junk food, having a great time.

I was stuck in Esko for a WEEK with my dad and boyfriend before we got plowed out.

Good times.

Krupskaya said...

I had to make an excuse for myself to the woman in front of me in the grocery line because I was buying such crap: coffee, pop, frozen pizza, cookies!, and something chocolatey but I can't even remember what it was. Not like she cared, of course.

Beverly said...

"after getting instructions from a talking penguin, i'm riding on a fish's back down a river in the sky."

I have beat that level, and I think it's a manta ray. Is that a fish?

Alright, I just looked it up and I don't know. Sounds like it's kind of a fish.

I did the Mario bee level, too, but eventually, the game was too frustrating. My 10-year-old beat it, though.

Kristabella said...

Why the onion?