then i:
* dip into chuck's secret stash of provolone cheese, which i lovingly compress between a toasted everything bagal, beneath a fried egg. [typically i leave his provolone alone -- tee hee -- since he uses it for his lunches, but let's be honest: chuck's food inventory skills are remedial.
* spend five minutes deciding which i should watch first: "quarterlife" or "one tree hill." decide that i prefer to watch "one tree hill" when its darker outside, and opt for the season premiere of "quarterlife," which won my devotion by being about a vlogger and from the people who brought you "thirtysomething."
* call for a hair appointment while maintaining a running e-mail to-and-fro with fanster, who has decided that she is just not that into blond men. word, fannie.
* the hair people can tame the matching puberty mustaches jutting out of control on my forehead in 45 minutes; they can cut my hair in four hours. i accept the inconvenience because it's WEDNESDAY!
* "so ..." eyebrow hotwaxer asks me. "you from duluth?" i've never not been asked this question while getting my aesthetic worked on at this place. "so ... you married? have kids?" is her followup. "no and no," i say. "so you have freetime, then, huh?" she cooes. lately i choose silence. i'm not trying to be mean. i know she is doing her job. but sometimes not answering is more fun for me. i like an awkward silence that i created. besides, this is just a waxing. we are committed for less than 10 minutes. if she were going to cut my hair, i'd tell her my life story and we could hug and exchange beaded bracelets at the end of this.
* i have 37 laps to swim, in a pool filled to lap-swimming capacity. the only thing worse than swimming is sharing a lane. the only thing worse than sharing a lane with one other person, is sharing it with the entire italian national swim team -- who collectively have enough swimsuit material to make a doily for a sock puppet's end tables. i bowed out after 23 laps with a headache. open swimming had begun and the entire cesspool was echoing with screaming toddlers bonking each other with fun noodles. sometimes i wonder why they don't keep emergency toasters and alarm clocks next to the pile of kick boards.
* the shortened swim means i have a few seconds to hit benetton's winter sale. i go ape batshit, throwing thises and thats onto the counter and screaming PUT IT ON MY DEBIT CARD! i got a lot of good stuff for 12 dollars each. it was like benetton broke up with its boyfriend, got wasted, and turned into old navy. its not going to remember anything tomorrow.
* just in time for my haircut. i've decided on a hybrid: diablo cody's reverse bob meets katie holmes' bangs in the world series of love. my hair guy tells me i don't have a long enough neck for this. he also tells me that sometimes women will beg a man for attention. damn near shake their behinds in his face to get him to look at her. when he finally gives her a glance, she will run off and say to her friends "oh him? he hit on me."
* to the grocery store and home, where i turn avacado and chickpeas into taco salad and firm tofu into dessert. and never once turn on the stove. magic. all while watching "one tree hill."
* my hybrid looks more like bedhead.
* i read part of a book, and 15 minutes later chuck comes home.
next up: THURSDAY!
11 comments:
I think the Benetton shopping will cancel out the recyclable shoes.
Also, we need pictures of the hybrid!
I would pay money not to have to share a lane at the pool. Not much money, but money. Please post a hair picture.
this is why you will always have me as a fan: "...who collectively have enough swimsuit material to make a doily for a sock puppet's end tables..."
hair photos please.
fannie
Let's see, my Wednesday was spent going to Subway, then drinking. We'll call it a draw.
How was "quarterlife?" I was interested in seeing it, since I'm around the age that is being targeted. Sure, maybe a couple years older, but whatever.
"i like an awkward silence that i created."- wow. i think you may have some power issues ;)
i need to see quarterlife now. thanks for helping find another time-suck.
i hope your reverse bob isn't the posh spice haircut. cody didn't appear to have that cut at the oscars. please describe.
kate -- incidentally, the benetton spree cost two dollars less than the shoes. weee!
cdp -- me too. sharing a lane makes for weird rip tides.
fannie -- i'll always be your fan, too.
flenkie -- i liked it and thought it was inane at the same time. i read that it may be cancelled after just one episode, which is unfortunate. it has all the good of shows i like, but more hoodies and chuck taylors.
feisty -- not so much a power issue as an overall exhaustion with small talk. the whole misanthrope thing ...
nanners -- its not posh spice. it's the same hair i had yesterday, except shorter and once in awhile i'll probably have to monitor the back of my head.
I wonder if the Benetton at the MOA is having the same sale...
Yes, I agree. Pictures are necessary as my imagination has been destroyed through years of TV and internet.
Pictures please.
I wish my Wednesday had been like that.
I recorded quarterlife and am excited to watch it. Only because they got me with blog. And when that chick was staring at the computer screen and was all "blog, blog, blog" I wondered when NBC had put cameras in my own house.
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