Saturday, December 29, 2007

i wanna iguana ...

for christmas, ma pista got me a very generous gift card to a sporting goods store, based upon me quickly keying "running shoes" onto my list just so there was something to counter balance what i really wanted: "guitar hero."

i, of course, had bought myself a pair of running shoes the same day i made the list, assuming that no one would buy me shoes for christmas. i'm a seven and a half or an eight -- and if i'm gifted one size, it always turns out i'm the other. to my mom i will swear that i am a seven and a half because occasionally she mistakes a pair of steve madden's or bandolino's for aerosoles while shoe shopping, and i reap the benefits of her uncomfortable, size seven and a half fashion errors.

i would really like to put my gift card toward a snowboard. really, it is all that i can think about. and when chuck accused me of wanting a snowboard because i'm jealous that my niece mel got one, all i could do is grunt and say "i know you are, but what am i?"

right now, i come to you saying that i want a snowboard. i will use a snowboard. if i have my own snowboard, i can tool around in chester park, in the yard. and during the grandest of snowstorms, hell, i can snowboard to the shanty bottle shop. i can do spirit mountain or mont du lac. and i will! once a week at least!

and in my head, i'm also purchasing snowpants and a hat with ear flaps, and i'm making a special spirit mountain playlist for my ipod.

unfortunately, this sounds very familiar to me. insert: "easel, acrylic paints, canvas and brushes," or "hockey skates, stick, puck and tape for my hockey stick," or "knitting needles and yarn," or "conversational spanish learning tapes" then "conversational swedish learning tapes" then "conversational spanish learning cds," and "a juicer." "2000, 2002, 2006 editions of the writer's market." sometimes i go eight months without using my 42-dollar/month YMCA membership.

i have a tendency to make spontaneous, expensive purchases that point toward what i would like my life to look like, get all jacked up and caffinated on big ideas, then yawn and go back to staring at the moving pictures on television.

the guitar i got for free. it was my mom's.

i'd like to think this snowboarding thing is different. i've wanted one for at least four years. that i've only snowboarded three times in that span should not matter: it is too expensive to rent equipment that often. but if i had my own equipment ... i'm not terrible at it. i'm about what you would expect from a 32 year old who never learned to ski, and has the opposite of hand-eye coordination -- which simply means i can do things involving legs and feet, but would be unable to whack jolly ranchers and gum from a pinanta.

i like the speed, the wind, the way it doesn't necessarily hurt when you fall. the ski lift, the way you can actually feel yourself improving. i like the hat with ear flaps and i like the way a beer tastes afterward. that afterward, being unable to use a bathroom stall unless it has handrails because even dropping to a sitting position makes my muscles sting.

i want a snowboard. what the hell else am i going to do with that gift card? buy a bike? hmmm ... a bike ...

3 comments:

Backpacker momma said...

We are soul sisters on this one. Big ideas, big promises, big expensive purchases, big waste o' money.

I say go for the board! I bought one years ago. Used it once at an actual hill, couldn't master it and half way through the day went and rented skis. Sold it in a garage sale. But you at least know how to use one and should do it! Maybe you'll surprise yourself.

feistyMNgirl said...

whatever the board costs, no reason to feel guilty.

my little sis buys purses that probably cost less...and those don't even help you DO anything.

Kristabella said...

This reminds me of that episode of The Cosby Show when Theo wanted to take flying lessons.