ur the bee's knees.
a) i don't know anyone who talks like that because none of my friends are blue hairs.
b) i don't know anyone from westchester county, which is where the text message originated.
the second sounds more like a message i'd receive, but i did not recognize the phone number:
proctor exit holiday, taking a dump.
unfortunate that that one did not reach its intended recipient, but the intended hilarity was appreciated by this stranger.