it all started with an apple tree, one paraplegic squirrel, a boyfriend with a fantastic wingspan, and a dream. i considered the possibility for about four minutes, then spent two more minutes congratulating myself on this sort of eagle scoutish thinking. the whole making due with my resources aspect of it.
THE PROCESS
step one: attach bucket to the end of a broom.
step two: grab a mop and tall boyfriend.
step three: stand together on deck. boyfriend whaps at apple tree, while i hold bucket under targeted apple.
step four: bake something apple flavored.
while fun, it didn't take long to figure out that instead of a cute story of swatting apples out of an apple tree -- and the mop 'n glow aftertaste -- this was going to turn into the story about the time i broke my neck showing off while channeling "on the banks of plum creek." and then, when i eventually moved to ground level and tried to estimate where the falling fruit would land, well ... let's just say i've always been better at different kinds of sports.
the fruits of my labor: meager.
anyway, there is a paraplegic squirrel living in the back yard who has found a way to shimmy to the roof without the use of his back legs. i think he needs these apples more than i do.
i decided to make apple crisp, but with, instead, apples from an apple store. i stood in the produce department holding the devil disguised as a small container of premade apple crisp, strategically placed by the granny smith's i was fingering. i carefully put it back on the shelf and backed away slowly from the cliff notes version of what i wanted to make.
whatever. so i spent the night chopping and peeling and and mixing and ended up with this:
then chuck said, using grand gestures to emphasize his point: maybe we should let it sit so it thickens.
so we watched the shining and waited.
then i very purposely made an "i'm concentrating and cutting" face.
it turned out really good.
i totally think i'm going to have more.
blah-blah-bonus footage:
this is where i forgot to not put my cigarette in front of the camera when i took the photo.
instant replay of the cutting process.
5 comments:
You know where this is going. You're going to enter it in the fair next year.
hee hee. i thought of you as i was writing ... here i go joking about your victorious weekends and then i make apple crisp.
thank you for not busting me on recycling one of my jokes.
your crisp looked way better than some of the shitty entries we saw in the 4-H building on saturday...
uhm, freaky question (from a semi non-freak)...but would you be willing to share the brand and color/number of that paint in your kitchen? can't tell you how long i've been looking for THAT color. and i end up with the buttery looking color, but i want that orangey-yellow...
hmm ... good question. but i don't know. it is chuck's friends house, and he painted the kitchen four years ago. if i remember, i'll ask him if he remembers next time i see him.
in the meantime, my kitchen is pure pure white with a flowery border that is only a tiny step up from the moose border in my living room. chuck's place is more aesthetically pleasing on every level.
at least your kitchen is not decked out in the country goose theme, as many houses i've looked at have. i hate those stupid goose borders. the geese usually have pink ribbons painted around their necks? wtf?
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